How to steal my neighbors Honda

Ok! I really need to get somewhere and my dead pollution mobile isn't helping so I am going to follow these simple instructions and steal my neighbors Honda. Thats right, steal it. See you in hell or in jail, whatever comes first.

What is needed:

Flat Head Screwdriver
Wire Strippers
Insulated Gloves
Coat Hanger

1) Put on the gloves and bend the coat hanger into an L. Then gain access to the car by wedging the screwdriver through the rubber seal around the drivers window. Through the opening carefully extend the coat hanger until you reach the lock latch. With a quick flick of the wrist pop open the lock latch outwards. This might take a few tries but it is surprisingly easy.

Note - Step one can be avoided if needed by simply smashing the glass or finding an unlocked car.

2) Locate the ignition tumbler, the spot where you normally put your key. Remove the covers and panels around the tumbler by ripping and breaking the plastic away. You might need to pry the plastic with the screwdriver.

3) Examine the ignition setup. There should be a panel with six wires clipped to the rear of the tumbler. Remove the panel and try to manually turn the ignition switch using a screwdriver. If you can do this and it works, then you are done! When you turn the ignition switch (usually with a key), it rotates a pin or lever on the back side of the tumbler. The panel is essentially a switch with four positions: off, accessories, full on and ignition. The different positions of the key correspond to each of these positions.

4) If you are not able to manually turn the ignition switch with the screwdriver, you will have to strip wires to hot-wire the car.

5) Pull those wires from the ignition, strip a portion of each and twist them together. The car will now be on and ready for ignition. This is where you truly hot-wire a car. These wires carry a charge, which is why they are called “hot".

6) Find the white power wire and the black starter wire and pull them from the ignition tumbler as well. There are two black wires so you will have to find the right one by trying both. Strip the ends and touch these wires together briefly. This should activate the starter, firing up the car. If you have done everything properly, the car will now be running. Do not leave these wires touching each other once the car is running. The steering wheel may not unlock so you may have to force the wheel to one side to break the lock. Now you are ready to ride.

7) Cover up any exposed wires to avoid painful electric shocks. Avoid cops and DON'T DRIVE LIKE AN IDIOT. Remember you are driving stolen car so obey the rules of the road.

Note - For entertainment purposes only of course. I take absolutely no responsibility for mine or anyone else's behavior due to reading this ;)