Monday, June 16, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Music Attack! pt.1
Aerosmith
Front man Tyler's annoying, ear piercing shrieking and lame songs like 'Dude Looks Like a Lady' are just a couple reasons why this band sucks the big one. They had a few good tunes in the 70's but for the most part have managed to churn out a whole heap of garbage since. Aerosmith proves that doing shit loads of smack and making music for really crappy Ben Affleck movies doesn't make you a good rock band.
Pearl Jam
Tone deaf front man Eddie Vedder has to be one of the worst singers ever. Go put on that 'Last Kiss' cover song as an example, it's fucking tragic and I'm not talking about the lyrics. Mix the horribly sung, out-of-tune vocals with the less than stellar guitar work and you get a very mediocre band that some how managed to influence millions of people to walk around like morons wearing the same plaid shirt, ripped jeans and Doc's. Talk about a low point in culture.
Foo Fighters
Mindless, hit-radio friendly, crap rock? Meh.
Oasis
These guys must be on some really great dope because they actually compared themselves to the Beatles. Do us a favor and go back to England with your Champaign Supernova, whatever the fuck that is, and punch yourselves out because your music is really fucking boring.
Coldplay
Another boring, snore-fest of a band. I would rather eat fresh dog shit than suffer more of their made-for-the-dentist-waiting-room muzak. And who the fuck names their kid Apple anyways?
Smashing Pumpkins
Everytime I hear Billy Corgan open his mouth with his whinny, faggy vocals I want to run and put my head through the nearest pane of thick glass. It would feel better.
Radiohead
Hey guys! Stop trying to be Pink Floyd because you are seriously shitting the bed. And by the way Tom, your electronic solo stuff sucks to the point of being un-listenable.
Kanye West
Listen you self-absorbed, Michael Jackson dressing momma's boy, you can't fucking rap. You got no flow. Zero. You want to hear a real MC, listen to KRS-One, now thats rhyming. I mean 'Stronger' has got to be the biggest rap turd ever. Dubya may or may not care about black people but I certainly don't care for Kanye. Fuck off, you're giving hip-hop a bad name!
Alicia Keys
Where did this pretentious, Motown wanna-be come from anyways. 'As I Am'? Who cares what you are. Go away already! Just listen to 'No One', as I am sure you already have 300,000 times . It has to be one of the worst songs ever recorded. Seriously. If you come across someone who likes that song, run for the hills for they are severely sick in the head and are probably very dangerous.
U2
Pretentious and preachy, often charging criminal ticket prices, U2 has always been a sonic turd of a band that has proven that the mass music listener is indeed a foolish, stupid creature. Bono is tone deaf and has trouble hitting notes if at all. The Edge's guitar playing is laughable at best, and the rhythm section couldn't keep time if their life depended on it. Thanks to creative recording tricks these guys sound semi-tight and harmonic on album but live they are just fucking horrible. Bad music for the mindless masses.
Tiesto
Dutch dance-god Tiesto invites you to join him to wave your arms in the air like a fucking idiot with 20'000 other sheep who also paid $125 to see a lousy trance DJ mix CD's. Wow!
The Doors
Jim Morrison, was nothing more than a flaky, narcissistic loser who did so much dope that he actually thought he was a Lizard King. They couldn't even make it to Woodstock. The band flat out sucked and so did his childish poetry.
Front man Tyler's annoying, ear piercing shrieking and lame songs like 'Dude Looks Like a Lady' are just a couple reasons why this band sucks the big one. They had a few good tunes in the 70's but for the most part have managed to churn out a whole heap of garbage since. Aerosmith proves that doing shit loads of smack and making music for really crappy Ben Affleck movies doesn't make you a good rock band.
Pearl Jam
Tone deaf front man Eddie Vedder has to be one of the worst singers ever. Go put on that 'Last Kiss' cover song as an example, it's fucking tragic and I'm not talking about the lyrics. Mix the horribly sung, out-of-tune vocals with the less than stellar guitar work and you get a very mediocre band that some how managed to influence millions of people to walk around like morons wearing the same plaid shirt, ripped jeans and Doc's. Talk about a low point in culture.
Foo Fighters
Mindless, hit-radio friendly, crap rock? Meh.
Oasis
These guys must be on some really great dope because they actually compared themselves to the Beatles. Do us a favor and go back to England with your Champaign Supernova, whatever the fuck that is, and punch yourselves out because your music is really fucking boring.
Coldplay
Another boring, snore-fest of a band. I would rather eat fresh dog shit than suffer more of their made-for-the-dentist-waiting-room muzak. And who the fuck names their kid Apple anyways?
Smashing Pumpkins
Everytime I hear Billy Corgan open his mouth with his whinny, faggy vocals I want to run and put my head through the nearest pane of thick glass. It would feel better.
Radiohead
Hey guys! Stop trying to be Pink Floyd because you are seriously shitting the bed. And by the way Tom, your electronic solo stuff sucks to the point of being un-listenable.
Kanye West
Listen you self-absorbed, Michael Jackson dressing momma's boy, you can't fucking rap. You got no flow. Zero. You want to hear a real MC, listen to KRS-One, now thats rhyming. I mean 'Stronger' has got to be the biggest rap turd ever. Dubya may or may not care about black people but I certainly don't care for Kanye. Fuck off, you're giving hip-hop a bad name!
Alicia Keys
Where did this pretentious, Motown wanna-be come from anyways. 'As I Am'? Who cares what you are. Go away already! Just listen to 'No One', as I am sure you already have 300,000 times . It has to be one of the worst songs ever recorded. Seriously. If you come across someone who likes that song, run for the hills for they are severely sick in the head and are probably very dangerous.
U2
Pretentious and preachy, often charging criminal ticket prices, U2 has always been a sonic turd of a band that has proven that the mass music listener is indeed a foolish, stupid creature. Bono is tone deaf and has trouble hitting notes if at all. The Edge's guitar playing is laughable at best, and the rhythm section couldn't keep time if their life depended on it. Thanks to creative recording tricks these guys sound semi-tight and harmonic on album but live they are just fucking horrible. Bad music for the mindless masses.
Tiesto
Dutch dance-god Tiesto invites you to join him to wave your arms in the air like a fucking idiot with 20'000 other sheep who also paid $125 to see a lousy trance DJ mix CD's. Wow!
The Doors
Jim Morrison, was nothing more than a flaky, narcissistic loser who did so much dope that he actually thought he was a Lizard King. They couldn't even make it to Woodstock. The band flat out sucked and so did his childish poetry.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Microwave Your Money
The RFID tracking chips that are placed in US currency explode when microwaved?
Having to try this for myself I fired up the trusty microwave oven and roasted some bills. My experiment would be slightly different though, I wanted to see if Canadian money exploded too. It did, kind of, but I believe it had more to do with the foil security feature in Canuck money. Foil + Microwave = Fire.
Amazingly, on only my second attempt I managed to pay for something at a store with my burnt bill!.
Check out the fascinating exploding bill article here and then go microwave your money.
Having to try this for myself I fired up the trusty microwave oven and roasted some bills. My experiment would be slightly different though, I wanted to see if Canadian money exploded too. It did, kind of, but I believe it had more to do with the foil security feature in Canuck money. Foil + Microwave = Fire.
Amazingly, on only my second attempt I managed to pay for something at a store with my burnt bill!.
Check out the fascinating exploding bill article here and then go microwave your money.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Urban Decay
As I sit here on Valentines Day, alone, sarcastic as ever and listening to a sappy love song on public radio. I cant seem to feel more content than ever, maybe its because I am too busy and so enthralled in exploring the decrepit remnants of society that I dare not care about some manufactured 'day to love' with its hurt feelings and hyper inflated expectations. Just make sure you check out the best urban decay gallery ever. HERE
Cigarettes and Valentines
Strange Old World
Save yourself from all this confusion
Got to be yourself 'cause life is an illusion
That shelters you from reality
Run away 'cause you're standing on a landmine
If I killed myself it wouldn't be the first time
Now I've thrown away the wisdom I don't need
Now I'm here on the brink of sanity
Living in an artificial dream
Mediocrity and lies are by my side
Now I've nowhere to go and my past is lost in time
My life is a bomb and its time is ticking
These wasted years have just left me sitting
And waiting for the world to re-arrange
I lost my feet and fell in a landslide
Landed on the ground and I found a new life
But it went too fast like the life that never came
Now I'm here on the brink of sanity
Living in an artificial dream
Mediocrity and lies are by my side
Now I've nowhere to go and my past is lost in time
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Five Star Video
This video brings me back to skateboarding until dawn in a greasy strip-mall parking lot. It was the absolute armpit of suburbian retail. There was a dirty smoke store there that was called Five Star Variety.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Lady Punch
For some strange reason I keep watching this clip so I decided to post it. There is something special about it, something magical, something even poetic about the whole thing. Apparently it all went down at a PTA meeting and in the original video you can hear the woman in red is telling a group that "they smoked marijuana together. Did you know that honey? Carry had THC in her system and" WHAMMO! She gets clocked big time. Check out how fast the offended party splits the scene. Here is the Franz Ferdinand Remix minus the dialogue.
Google Earth Strangeness
Not only has Google Earth allowed us to peep topless sunbathers and the guy about to open his vehicles door it has also uncovered some funny, strange and down right bizarre things.
Like the Oprah cornfield, highway truck crash , the swastika apartment complex and the fighter jet in a parking lot.
There is also the black, triangle shaped UFO seen in Australia (Pic1 Pic 2) and the guy who found his house on fire.
No mention of the subject would be complete without a visit to Area 51, the crooked NY skyscrapers, the mysterious green circles or the strange miniature mountain project (Pic1, Pic2, Pic3)
Here is the profanity field, the smiley face, burning Iraqi oil-fields and the exact location of paradise. Looks nice. Also check out the border between winter and summer and the giant guy with an iPod.
But above all my personal favorites have to be the flying cars. (Car1, Car2) How much for one of those bad boys?
Like the Oprah cornfield, highway truck crash , the swastika apartment complex and the fighter jet in a parking lot.
There is also the black, triangle shaped UFO seen in Australia (Pic1 Pic 2) and the guy who found his house on fire.
No mention of the subject would be complete without a visit to Area 51, the crooked NY skyscrapers, the mysterious green circles or the strange miniature mountain project (Pic1, Pic2, Pic3)
Here is the profanity field, the smiley face, burning Iraqi oil-fields and the exact location of paradise. Looks nice. Also check out the border between winter and summer and the giant guy with an iPod.
But above all my personal favorites have to be the flying cars. (Car1, Car2) How much for one of those bad boys?
Paul McCartney died in 1966 and was replaced by a convincing look-a-like?
A Great Rock and Roll Mystery!
Pre 1966 Paul on top
Post 1966 Paul on bottom
Some call it a hoax, others claim to have proof. You decide.
Detailed Facial Analysis
Clues from Album Covers and Lyrics
Thursday, January 24, 2008
How to steal my neighbors Honda
Ok! I really need to get somewhere and my dead pollution mobile isn't helping so I am going to follow these simple instructions and steal my neighbors Honda. Thats right, steal it. See you in hell or in jail, whatever comes first.
What is needed:
Flat Head Screwdriver
Wire Strippers
Insulated Gloves
Coat Hanger
1) Put on the gloves and bend the coat hanger into an L. Then gain access to the car by wedging the screwdriver through the rubber seal around the drivers window. Through the opening carefully extend the coat hanger until you reach the lock latch. With a quick flick of the wrist pop open the lock latch outwards. This might take a few tries but it is surprisingly easy.
Note - Step one can be avoided if needed by simply smashing the glass or finding an unlocked car.
2) Locate the ignition tumbler, the spot where you normally put your key. Remove the covers and panels around the tumbler by ripping and breaking the plastic away. You might need to pry the plastic with the screwdriver.
3) Examine the ignition setup. There should be a panel with six wires clipped to the rear of the tumbler. Remove the panel and try to manually turn the ignition switch using a screwdriver. If you can do this and it works, then you are done! When you turn the ignition switch (usually with a key), it rotates a pin or lever on the back side of the tumbler. The panel is essentially a switch with four positions: off, accessories, full on and ignition. The different positions of the key correspond to each of these positions.
4) If you are not able to manually turn the ignition switch with the screwdriver, you will have to strip wires to hot-wire the car.
5) Pull those wires from the ignition, strip a portion of each and twist them together. The car will now be on and ready for ignition. This is where you truly hot-wire a car. These wires carry a charge, which is why they are called “hot".
6) Find the white power wire and the black starter wire and pull them from the ignition tumbler as well. There are two black wires so you will have to find the right one by trying both. Strip the ends and touch these wires together briefly. This should activate the starter, firing up the car. If you have done everything properly, the car will now be running. Do not leave these wires touching each other once the car is running. The steering wheel may not unlock so you may have to force the wheel to one side to break the lock. Now you are ready to ride.
7) Cover up any exposed wires to avoid painful electric shocks. Avoid cops and DON'T DRIVE LIKE AN IDIOT. Remember you are driving stolen car so obey the rules of the road.
Note - For entertainment purposes only of course. I take absolutely no responsibility for mine or anyone else's behavior due to reading this ;)
What is needed:
Flat Head Screwdriver
Wire Strippers
Insulated Gloves
Coat Hanger
1) Put on the gloves and bend the coat hanger into an L. Then gain access to the car by wedging the screwdriver through the rubber seal around the drivers window. Through the opening carefully extend the coat hanger until you reach the lock latch. With a quick flick of the wrist pop open the lock latch outwards. This might take a few tries but it is surprisingly easy.
Note - Step one can be avoided if needed by simply smashing the glass or finding an unlocked car.
2) Locate the ignition tumbler, the spot where you normally put your key. Remove the covers and panels around the tumbler by ripping and breaking the plastic away. You might need to pry the plastic with the screwdriver.
3) Examine the ignition setup. There should be a panel with six wires clipped to the rear of the tumbler. Remove the panel and try to manually turn the ignition switch using a screwdriver. If you can do this and it works, then you are done! When you turn the ignition switch (usually with a key), it rotates a pin or lever on the back side of the tumbler. The panel is essentially a switch with four positions: off, accessories, full on and ignition. The different positions of the key correspond to each of these positions.
4) If you are not able to manually turn the ignition switch with the screwdriver, you will have to strip wires to hot-wire the car.
5) Pull those wires from the ignition, strip a portion of each and twist them together. The car will now be on and ready for ignition. This is where you truly hot-wire a car. These wires carry a charge, which is why they are called “hot".
6) Find the white power wire and the black starter wire and pull them from the ignition tumbler as well. There are two black wires so you will have to find the right one by trying both. Strip the ends and touch these wires together briefly. This should activate the starter, firing up the car. If you have done everything properly, the car will now be running. Do not leave these wires touching each other once the car is running. The steering wheel may not unlock so you may have to force the wheel to one side to break the lock. Now you are ready to ride.
7) Cover up any exposed wires to avoid painful electric shocks. Avoid cops and DON'T DRIVE LIKE AN IDIOT. Remember you are driving stolen car so obey the rules of the road.
Note - For entertainment purposes only of course. I take absolutely no responsibility for mine or anyone else's behavior due to reading this ;)
Salute to Winter
Let's face it, winter sucks. I just went to start my pollution mobile and it is stone dead. Perhaps the prolonged sub-zero temperatures had something to do with it. Whatever the case I had plans today, people to see, places to go. Do you think winter gives a rats ass about your day? No way. This is for the rotten prick called old man winter...to you I say "UP YOURS!"
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
How to Build a Spaceship from Household Scraps
Coat hangers? Check! White wine vinegar? Check! Pool cue? Check!
Click the pic for the easy to follow instructions...
Click the pic for the easy to follow instructions...
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